Sweet Dreams Lovely.

 

 

Am feeling so heavy hearted today.

 

 

 

The weight of loss as cancer steals the life of a beautiful friend at the end of her fight. I'm heartbroken for her family and friends who are grieving for her. I'm heartbroken that she isn't able to live the life she so dearly wanted. I feel so sad for our Cancer support group who are all feeling raw from the news that she has slipped away. We already miss her incredible sense of humour in the midst of the mindfuck that is cancer. She made me laugh so hard once that I snorted coffee out of my nose. That is the kind of awesome woman she is...was...will always be. We knew each other for less than twelve months but by god she made an unforgettable impression on my heart.

 

 

 

These great big uncomfortable sobs have been welling up in my throat and threatening to burst out all day. It feels wrong that life just churns on...but it does. It goes on at 3:30 in the morning when the three year old throws up in my hair and I spend the last few hours before sunrise holding his freshly showered, feverish little body in my arms. It goes on when I discover headlice on the six year old's head and keep him home for the day to treat it. It goes on during my surgeon's appointment to plan the reconstruction of my radiation damaged breast. Life goes on despite the fact that we've lost a most radiant soul.

 

Cancer is the worst kind of thief.

 

Losing Deb is so painfully sad but remembering her infectious sense of humour reminds me to embrace the life that goes on. I am grateful that I can mother my boys and love my husband. There is joy to be found in the little things that make up our day.

 

 

 

 

There is purpose and hope despite The Grim's attempts to pilfer it all.

 

 

 

 

My darling Deb, you've been nothing short of sunshine to me. Thank you for your courage, your openness, your warmth and your hilarity. By God it was a privilege to know you, to share our cancer experiences, to laugh and swear and cry together. I ache for your family and friends...if this is how I feel losing you, their loss is ten times more agonising. I wish we'd had more time.

 

Sweet dreams Lovely...sleep well.

 

xx Em

 

 

 

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